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Run for the Son

Steve used his love for motorcycles to be involved with the Christian Motorcycle Association and he loved the opportunities for ministry there.

The CMA puts on an event every year called Run for the Son where they raise money to donate to three Christian charities.
1. Open Doors
2. The Jesus Film
3. Missionary Ventures

Steve told me that on average every dollar that is donated to Run for the Son means 1 person is brought to Christ. That's an amazing return on investment, in my opinion. $1 = 1 soul.
I have added this donation button so that you can donate to Run for the Sun in memory of Steve Ashbrook. He would be very honored. Thank you.

Run for the Son, in memory of Steve Ashbrook

Thursday, October 17, 2013

How I wish I felt

What I would like to feel is that God is in control and will heal my pain. I would like to feel like I didn't do anything wrong and Steve knew how much I loved him. I would like to be able to just pick  myself up without feeling guilty for doing so. I would like to be able to think what I have left in this life is enough for me to make the best of it. I would like to be able to continue the plans that Steve and I discussed and not feel my heart ripping out of my chest daily. I would like to be able to drive passed Lindbergh Boulevard without losing my grip and recalling the events of the night he died. I would love to sit in my house, with my kids, JUST ONE DAY, and not weep uncontrollably. I wish I didn't feel the need to pull away from the people I have left because I don't think I can handle losing someone else I love. 

I wish the promise that I will see him again some day brought me enough comfort to get me through for however long it takes "someday" to come.

What I KNOW and what I feel are NOT very often in agreement right now. Currently, what I know, I only know because of years of hearing it. I do not FEEL like God is in control and I do not FEEL like the God of this universe cares at all about my pain. All I can do, at this point, is tell myself that even though I'm not sure I'll make it through this with God, I definitely won't get through it without God. 

How I wish I felt:

John 8:32 And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

Phillipians 4: 6-7 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Romans 15:13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.


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1 comment:

  1. JacquieKBOctober 17, 2013 at 11:48 PM

    Amy, my husband died unexpectedly over 9 years ago. If you will private message me, I would like to share with you a couple of things that helped me deal with the unbelievable pain. Please contact me.

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