His Bible

I went through Steve's Bibles tonight and found a letter I had written to him in July 1996; we had only been married 6 months. The first year of our marriage was pretty rough, but no one that knows us would ever know that. We had a better marriage than everyone we knew. We even considered writing a book about marriage from our perspective.

I also found a page where Steve had written a list of baby boy names. I used to write out baby names that we were considering, but I didn't know he did. He wanted to name a boy Stephen Wesley. As a matter of fact, it was just while he was in the hospital that he was telling our oldest daughter that we had picked that name if we had another boy.

Tomorrow will be one month since he died, I miss him like crazy. Worse, I know that I will never stop missing him; this feeling is here forever. A lot of things might get easier, but missing him won't.