Breath

I start to have moments where I think I might be strong enough to do this and then there are moments that it just seems like I'm watching someone else's life.  Then the breath is literally knocked out of me by the reality of it all
I have been with him since before I even knew who I was. Now, I have no idea who that is because all of me was wrapped up in US. Everything that happens throughout the day, I want to tell him about. I look at my phone expecting to see a text from him and then realize I won't get those anymore. I think the loneliness has overtaken the guilt, at least for now. If you're blessed enough to be married, don't take the time you have together for granted.
If you are blessed enough to be married to your best friend, you know what I'm talking about; there is absolutely nothing in this world that I want to do without him. Everyone says "give it time, it will get a little easier." Maybe the guilt will let up, and maybe I will learn to accept not knowing why, but I don't see how the loneliness gets easier with time. It seems to me, the longer I'm without him, the more it hurts.