What is God doing?

I've been following Chonda Pierce on facebook for a long time, but I started to watch more closely when her husband went into the hospital a few weeks ago. She has over 270,000 people following her on facebook alone, so I'm thinking even if just half of those people are praying for her husband that's amazing. I found myself telling God that I still don't understand why he didn't save my husband, but if He really wanted people to take notice or to bring glory to Himself then healing David Pierce would surely do that. After all over 270,000 people were watching.

Again, I'm wrong! Over 270,000 people watched as Chonda Pierce stood on faith and prayed for her husband and then he died.  I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT GOD IS DOING. Obviously, it doesn't matter to Him that I would like an explanation. Terrorists kill Christians and people that do horrible things live to grow old, but good people; people who trust God, are dying too young. Israel is fighting to survive, planes are being shot out of the sky; HELLLOOOOO, God, do you not see what's happening on planet earth? Now is as good a time as any in the past to show yourself.

I've met quite a few widows since Steve passed away. When I come across a woman who has just started this journey, I usually just keep my mouth shut because I know that there are no words that will help. I still cannot fathom that I will ever be "happy"again. There are moments of joy, but a lifetime of happiness is what I thought I would have. So, I'm in no position to give advice I'm still full of questions and regrets. I still start to have a panic attack if I go into a medical facility. I still don't understand anything. So here I am, still expecting God to do something I can understand, which is apparently ridiculous of me. Frustrated!