Reader Beware, I'm on a soap box!

I'm sitting here thinking about the first moments after finding out Steve had died. Why am I doing that? Because two people that I'm close to have lost people they are close to this weekend. One of the deceased was in his mid 80's and took care of himself; the other was in their mid 40's with a small child and didn't take care of themselves. The pain of losing them is similar, but the SHOCK of losing someone in their mid 40's is most often preventable

Do not for one second think that the shock is not every bit as hard to deal with as the pain. The shock is another layer of grief; it's more like another MOUNTAIN to climb and fall in the grief process. Everyone has a story and I understand that knowing the end is near is not any kind of relief. However, I can only speak from my experience and my that comes from completely unexpected loss. I'm only qualified to speak from the place of a woman who lost her 44 year old husband SUDDENLY.

Let me start by saying that I do not blame him. Neither one of us understood the gravity of his health issues. He was a strong man that seemed invincible and we had no clue what we were dealing with.

I'm writing this to hopefully make someone out there try a little harder to stick around for your wife (or husband), and kids.

Steve had high blood pressure (not constant) from his early 20's. He was diagnosed with Diabetes in his late 20's and he developed high cholesterol in his 30's. His eating habits were not really all that bad, but he had a hard time saying no to pie and chocolate shakes (most people have a hard time saying no to these things). He smoked off and on from the ages of 18 - 31. He never had any indication that there was a heart problem, NONE. When we showed up at the hospital we thought he was having an asthma attack and maybe pneumonia. We were completely SHOCKED when they said "you've had a massive heart attack that has damaged your heart muscle to the point that only 1/3 of it is functioning." How is it even possible that someone can have a heart attack that damages their heart that much and not even know it.

Knowing what I know now, I should have known it was coming. Steve's health was not good. He looked amazing, he didn't look like an unhealthy person at all. Looks are more deceiving than I ever knew. What no one could see was that uncontrolled diabetes was turning the inside of his arteries in to jelly which was causing plaque from the high cholesterol to be able to accumulate in massive amounts in his heart.

If you have chronic health issues like High blood pressure, diabetes, high cholesterol, etc it does not matter how great you look on the outside, all of these diseases are slowly killing you on the inside. Here is my PSA; this is what I feel like I have earned the qualifications to say: Get off your ass and fix it. If you are overweight, work on it. SERIOUSLY, don't just talk about it. If you have High blood pressure take the meds (either prescription or holistic) while you start an exercise program to bring your blood pressure down. If you have diabetes, do the research to learn what you need to know and learn how your body reacts to everything you eat. Keep a log and work on keeping your blood sugar down. STOP doing things that are going to kill you.

Steve was one of the most unselfish people I have ever known, so understand that I am not blaming him. We had know idea what all of this was doing to him internally. BUT, now I know and now YOU know. You don't have an excuse anymore. Once you know, you have to act. It doesn't matter what your excuse is or what your disease is, you have to fight it. Make a list of things that need to change so you can live longer and then prioritize. Your spouse and kids are more important than whatever excuse you can find not to change. If you have spent any amount of time reading my previous blog posts, you know the devastation I have felt. You have to be aware of the months that I spent wishing I could just die too. You have the power to delay your loved one from feeling this and I'd say you are pretty selfish if you don't do everything you can to prevent it. Obviously, people can die unexpectedly in car wrecks and other accidental ways, but statistically only 5% of deaths in American are accidents.
If you love someone, you should be willing to do whatever you can to keep them from having to feel the pain of your death.