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Run for the Son

Steve used his love for motorcycles to be involved with the Christian Motorcycle Association and he loved the opportunities for ministry there.

The CMA puts on an event every year called Run for the Son where they raise money to donate to three Christian charities.
1. Open Doors
2. The Jesus Film
3. Missionary Ventures

Steve told me that on average every dollar that is donated to Run for the Son means 1 person is brought to Christ. That's an amazing return on investment, in my opinion. $1 = 1 soul.
I have added this donation button so that you can donate to Run for the Sun in memory of Steve Ashbrook. He would be very honored. Thank you.

Run for the Son, in memory of Steve Ashbrook

Monday, January 20, 2014

All or nothing

I am in a strange place right now. I've gone from the deepest depression I've ever known to trying to just remain numb and not feel the pain. I thought it was impossible to get numb without drugs or alcohol, but I'm doing it most of the time.

Me and my all or nothing mentality can't find a way to balance allowing myself to have memories and be o.k. at the same time. So, I'm just not remembering. I know this won't last for long, but I had to do it this way; I was too depressed. I'm hoping that SOMEDAY soon I will be able to figure out how to balance memories of what was and reality of what is without being depressed.

I'm still asking God what now and I'm not getting any direction. Still seems to be silence. I've had some dreams that could possibly mean something, but I can't figure them out.  I've decided to pursue some plans for the future just because I can't stand to think about being here without him. GOD HELP ME, I love him and I love us together. It's been more than 4 months and I still cannot imagine how I'm going to live without him.
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