Content or Inspired

Here I sit on the eve of the 17 month anniversary and valentines day around the corner and even though I mentally prepare myself for all of this, none of it matters. The problem with mental preparedness is that it never transfers to the heart. So, I will just hope this round of devastation passes faster than the last one.

More recent events have had me thinking about relationships between people in general; romantic relationships and friendships. A friend recently told me "I have realized that I will never be content." I've been thinking about it for a little while, because I don't understand why she said that like it was a bad thing. I don't think I have ever been content myself. Even when I had the love of my life and my family was all intact with no sicknesses. To me, being content means nothing needs to change and I don't see how that will ever be reality. Maybe it's just me, but I have always felt like I will never reach a point that I need to stop changing something. I will always need to learn more, grow more, be more, etc. Maybe I'm wrong and it's better to be CONTENT; maybe it is a defect in me. 

I have always felt like productive relationships (any kind of relationship) should encourage you to be a better person. Obviously, you don't need to be judged, but being INSPIRED is a whole different story. It seems like life would just be boring to never feel challenged to be a better version of me.


I realize that sometimes you are in a bad place and you need to be inspired and other times you are in a better place and you're the one doing the inspiring. At least there is inspiration. I don't want to be content in any relationship I have with anyone, I want you to be inspiring me or me to be inspiring you to be better people than we are right now.