We finally got through the wedding and the preacher (my Dad) forgot the "you may now kiss the bride" part. Steve forgot to take his old green watch off for the pictures. Last but not least, the best man (Steve's brother, Stuart) left the building before signing the marriage license.
It didn't take long after that day for us to say, we should have just gotten married on a beach somewhere and done away with all the tradition. Steve told me he wanted us to renew our vows on our 20th anniversary, on the beach. We almost made it that far.
I got married at 18 years old and immediately became a family because he already had two children. I look back at those early years and realize how much I didn't know. Like most newlyweds, we had a lot of obstacles to overcome, but over the past 10 years we've had the best relationship of anyone I know. We loved each other unconditionally. Neither of us ever tried to change the other or insist the other one do something our way. We had a mutual respect and trust that we each would do what was best for our family in any given situation. It wasn't always perfect, but a lot of times it was perfect.
Now, I look back 3 months and realize how much I still didn't know. Only, now I can't make up for any of it and no amount of I'm sorry is going to bring him back.
I wonder what he knows where he is, if he even knows today's date or remembers the significance. Most people say marriage ends at death, but I don't see how a connection on that spiritual of a level can die. Unless God sees fit to reunite us soon, I guess I will be celebrating a lot of anniversary's without him.
Just in case heaven has internet, Happy Anniversary Babe, I still love you biggest!
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