Shouldn't it get easier with every time I have to explain. It doesn't. People call the office, I answer and hear "Is Steve there?" Some days I still can't through the explanation, especially this past few days.
Once they hear the news, the next question is "what happened." I can't even begin to answer this question. I HAVE NO IDEA! GOD, I WISH I KNEW!!!!
Instead of getting easier it is getting harder. It's harder to get the mail and see that it is addressed to Steve Ashbrook. It's harder to have to check his email to see if anything important came in. It's harder to get on facebook and see married to Steve Ashbrook. It's hardest to wake up in the morning and realize he's not right there next to me. Especially after I've just dreamed that he didn't die.
In the beginning I was in a fog and just automating my way through every day, I think it's getting harder because the fog is lifting.
I dreaded going to the mailbox for the same reason! You have a bunch of bad days, then once in a while you have a good day..then you just get tired of having bad days and somehow God picks you up..kind of like footprints in the sand. Then you just get tired of having bad days, so somehow you try to have an OK day.
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